It looks like Adriana Lima and her supermodel friends are out shilling lingerie just in time for this year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on December 5th. I admit, I’ve never watched the broadcast but I have seen plenty of the past events’ pictures. To be honest, that’s enough for me. I mean, how many times can I watch models walk up and down a catwalk before getting bored. Yes, you heard me. Bored. A guy like me needs — no, demands more! Not much more, but just enough to keep my attention in a world where celebrity sex tapes are everywhere and internet porn is free. Maybe Adriana Lima can use that crazy tongue of hers and use it to do something really naughty to Gisele Bundchen. Oh yeah, that would certainly keep me “up” for the full hour!

*Last years Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Sometimes I really hate seeing pictures of Adriana Lima. Now before you all start thinking I’m some kind of sexual deviant, eunuch or imbecile, allow me to explain. Looking at Adriana is like looking at a top of the line Ferrari. Both are absolutely gorgeous, but you’ll never be able to afford either. In the end, you’re reminded that women like that don’t date guys like you and me! I guess that would be be better for her anyway. If we did date, that prized ass of hers would be so covered in bite marks, that she’d never get a paying gig again.

*Check out more Adriana Lima pictures here.

Vida Guerra Pictures

This weekend, I went to rent a movie for the first time in over five months and in the new releases was National Lampoon’s Dorm Daze 2, which had everyone’s favorite big butt, Vida Guerra on the cover. Of course there were no copies available, as expected, since no one ever saw this movie in theatres. Anyway, being the nice guy that I am, I found the 36 second Vida Guerra ass clip that most of you guys were about to spend six bucks on. So here it is and you can thank me later.

Vida Guerra Dorm Daze 2 clip

*BTW when you’re done staring at Vida’s big ass, notice how much difficulty she has saying her lines while undressing. She’s a real natural.

For a virgin, Adriana Lima has the most sexual facial expressions I have ever seen. Imagine what she’d look like if in fact she was having sex. Jesus! I can’t stand up now. Unfortunately, there’s a downside to this post. Being a professional celebrity inspector, I noticed a flaw on Adriana. Yes, Adriana is not perfect. She’s human. Like Tyra Banks but not as bad, she too has a hint of a mustache. Not a complete deal breaker for me but kind of ruins the moment a bit.

I don’t feel like writing anything right now. I need a moment to reflect. Besides, anything I write wouldn’t make sense. What does make sense is looking at these pictures of Adriana Lima, Izabel Goulart and Alessandra Ambrosio over and over and over again.

*Warning! Do not drive or operate heavy machinery after looking at these pictures.

* images removed by request

A few days ago, it was reported in GQ Magazine that Adriana Lima is “The World’s Most Voluptuous Virgin“. Well, I finally got hold of the magazine and if a picture is worth a thousand words…

Could the world’s hottest lingerie model really be a virgin? That’s the mind-boggling claim that’s landed Victoria’s Secret sexpot Adriana Lima on the cover of the new GQ, which dubs her, “The World’s Most Voluptuous Virgin.”
Source

Let me tell you something about really hot 25-year-old virgins like Adriana Lima. They’re great! Where can I find one?

*Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Pictures

I’m starting to admire Vida Guerra because she’s truly an inspiration to women who are not that pretty but still manage to get into big events. I bet she started off working her way into nightclubs and with perseverance, she earned the respect of bouncers and rap producers everywhere. Now look at her, she’s at the ‘Soul Train Awards’ all glammed up, posing for photographers. Now that’s a success story, even though I’m not quite sure what it is, she does.

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This is for the ladies because real men prefer porn.